The Big Mystery
by FrostyChicken
Summary: HIATUS! Every year the Cullens have a week of IMing only, no talking is allowed. What could possibly go wrong? Original pairings w/ Jake & Nessie. Better than summary...and as always read and review!
1. Texting Time

**Hay! As we've told you this is a joined account, well I [Frost922] got an idea for a Twilight fanfiction. My partner smilichicken, is my editor! Well maybe we forgot to tell you, we are totally RANDOM personS (my word). NOW on with the story!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: We DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT!!!! -sniff- **

**Oh an one more thing, the names below, are the Cullen's user names.**

**Strong-Bear: Emmett,**

**Flawlessbeauty: Rosalie**

**GardianAngle: Edward**

**Biteme: Bella**

**Kool'n'kalm: Jasper**

**Shopaholic!:]: Alice,**

**Hotdog: Jacob**

**VAIRwolves: Renesmea**

**PROLOGUE Sunday night: Bella's POV:**

Why was I here? If anybody saw me, then I'd be in BIG trouble! But my God! Didn't Emmett clean his side of the room? Rosalie, was of course, perfect. Everything was in its place, and not even one thing was messy. I was looking for something, Rosalie's, her ring. Well in fact, everyone was given a part of the house to search for it. I pulled all the drawers, and saw a video cassette. It didn't have any marking on it to show who it belonged to. I got curious, and took the video cassette. Then I closed the drawer and quietly went out the door.

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Once in our room, I put the cassette in the VCR. In a second, something came on. When I saw what it was, I was laguing like crazy. It showed Emmett, dressed like Rosalie. He was imitating all her moves and put on her makeup. I had to tell somebody. But Who?

**Chapter 1:**

**Monday:**

**Strong-Bear, **has created the chat room called, E.E.J.R.B.A.J.R

**Flawlessbeauty, GardianAngel, VAIRwolvs, and Hotdog**, have joined the chatroom, E.E.J.R.B.A.J.R

**Flawlessbeauty: **Wutsup Teddy?

**Strong-Bear**: WTF? Wutup wid Teddy?

**VAIRwolvs**: Emmett, what does that mean?

**GardianAngel**: Emmett LANGUAGE! Renesmea is on.

**Hotdog**: Wutevr Edward!

**Strong-Bear:**Watevr!! I said "Wut the FUDGE!"

**Biteme has signed on. VAIRwolvs**, **Hotdog have signed off.**

**Biteme:** November/12/1982,

"I stare at him, but he looks ahead, past me, I try talking to him, but he ingnors me. Why OH why? I ask."

**Flawlessbeauty:**WUT? R u a lezbo?

**Biteme: **NO! I quoted it from a video cassette.

**GardianAngel: **Y r u quite Emm?

**Strong-Bear**: I'm here G2G! bye!

**Strong-Bear** has signed off.

**GardianAngle: **AWKWARD!!

**FlawlessBeauty**: Ditto!

**GardianAngle:** G2G, Esme's calling, dinners ready!!

**Chat room is closed.....**

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**Rate'n review!!!**


	2. The Video

**Sooo sooo sorry that we didnt update before. Well, there is this thing called school and homework. AND we do have a life ya know. LOL. Okay so here is chapter 2! =) Read, review, and enjoy!!! **

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**Tuesday:**

Strong-Bear has signed on

FlawlessBeauty has signed on

GuardianAngel has signed on

Biteme has signed on

**Bitm**e: Dinner was MMM MMM good!! Considering it was made by vampires. LOL. Wat was it again??

**Strong-Bear:** Lets c? Well we ate a mountain lion, grizzly bear, a deer, and ummm maybe I might have slipped in a HUMAN. LOL

**Biteme:** Ssrly? Lol My memory is refreshed.

**GuardianAngel**: Very funny Emmett. –rolls eyes-

**Flawlessbeauty:** Watevr, sometimes I ssrly ask myself why I fell in love w/ u Emmett.

**Biteme:** Don't we all!

**Strong-Bear:** Well, baby, would like me to refresh your memory? ;)

**Flawlessbeauty: **That depends…..wut r we gonna do?

**Strong-Bear:** Oh, I think you know exactly wut we're gonna do!!!

**GuardianAngel:** OMFG!!! Stop! Both of you! Before my head explodes!!!!!! I ssrly don't need those pics of you and Rosalie on your last honeymoon in my head, Emmett!!!!

**Biteme:** Where is my makeup?

**Flawlessbeauty: **Wtf

**GuardianAngel**: ??

**Strong-Bear:** ??

**Biteme**: Hey Emmett, u no wut? I saw the video that u hid from everyone!!! =)

**Strong-Bear**: WAT THE F**K?!?!?

**Biteme: **Can I tell them? Plz?

**Flawlessbeauty:]:** Do tell!!!! Do tell!!! Wat r u talking about? Wat did he do this time?

**GardianAngel**: Don't cuss at my wife, Emmett!!!!

**Flawlessbeauty:** LMFAO!! U guyz r so stupid sometimes!! I luv it!!

**Strong-Bear:** Wutevr, Bella's my sister-in-law, so I can do anything I want to! So there! Besides, who cares about cussing?

**Strong-Bear: **AND y didn't u tell Rose to not cuss? Ur Grring at me!! But wen Rose cusses, u don't say anything!!!

**Flawlessbeauty: **Well, it's really simple…..I'm better than U!!!

**Strong-Bear: **Wutevr….I'm out.

**Strong-Bear has signed off**

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**Emmett's POV:**

What the hell? Bella knew about the video? This was gonna be…….. wow…. I can't believe it!! Just then I heard laughter coming from various parts of the house. This can only mean one thing............................She told them!! This calls for REVENGE!!! Just then they all came laughing into my room, clutching their sides, and gasping for breath.

**Esme POV:**

"Finally, some peace and quiet!!" I said to Carlisle

"I agree dear. It's finally nice to hear yourself think! I wonder how long this will last." He replied.

I sighed, "Even though this silence is nice, 'Nothing Gold Can Stay' as Robert Frost would say." Just then Emmett ran downstairs screaming at the top of his lungs. Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie, followed behind him, laughing so hard that they were practically tripping down the stairs. Not that vampires trip....

"I told you so." I said, looking at Carlisle.

**Read'n'review!! PLZ?** **Next chapter: Emmett's Revenge!**


	3. Revenge!

**Wutup my homie G's? Ummmm.... so sorry that we didn't update much more faster. Well ya see, being your average 13 and 15 year olds, life is umm.... well let me put it this way, sometimes we dont have time to update. Ya know the usual.... Now, before we publish chapter 4 we want at least 10 reviews! =] a small price for a story! Now anyhoo, here is "Emmetts Revenge!"**

**Disclaimer: Do we ssrly need to put this on EVERY chapter? It torchers me, ya know. But still, I don't think I could come up with a plot like Twilight's.**

**Wednesday:**

**Emmetts POV:**

Revenge time! Tomorrow everyone is going to go hunt, so my first target is going to be Bella. I'll hide her color contacts, so when Charlie comes to visit, she wont have her contacts. Alice, I'll hide her makeup. Jasper, I'll hide his guitar. Rosalie, I'll ask Alice to 'makeup' Rosalie, instead, Rosalie will look like a hideous emo person. Edward, I'll hide some eggs on top of his bedroom door, so when he opens the door, SPLAT! The eggs will fall on his head! MWAHAHAHA!!! I'm EVIL!!!!!

**Meanwhile:**

Shopaholic:], GardianAngel, Biteme, and Flawlessbeauty have signed on.

**Shopaholic:]: Dat was soo funny I m lyke rolling on da floor laughing!!!!**

**Flawlessbeauty: Mii 2**

**GardianAngel: mii 3!!**

**Shopaholic:] ****wants a private chat with Biteme**

**Shopaholic: I just had a vision. Emmetts gona hav revenge! should I tell every1?**

**Biteme: no dont tell dem. I wana c da look on der face. kay?**

**Biteme and Shopaholic:] had closed thier private chat.**

**Shopaholic:]: Hay G2G! **

**Chat room is now closed.**

**Emmetts POV:**

I hid Jasper's guitar. And I am crouched in Jasper, and Alice's room. Now the only thing I have to do, is wait and watch. Jasper came into his room looking for the guitar. Check. He looked around and couldn't find it. Jasper got out his phone and text someone. Alice came into the room. She gracefully walked to the hiding spot and gave it to Jasper. Darn! I forgot about Alice's power! Oh well.

**Jasper's POV:**

Where is my guitar? Did Emmett have something to do with this? Whatever. I got my phone out and text Alice. She came in and found it in a instant

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**Emmetts POV:**

The eggs are in place. The doorknob turned, and Edward came into the room, and then, **SPLAT!!!!**Ouch! Sorry, Edward but it was for the best. Edward looked so mad. But he didn't say anything. I had to stifle my laughter, this was a mean trick, but the look on Edward's face, was worth it.

**Edwards POV:**

EMMETT!!!! He was _**so **_gonna get it. I should have known the eggs were going to fall but, I had other stuff on my mind. I just didn't react in time, that's all. But as the slick stuff slime down my face, I got pissed off! Emmett was _so _gonna loose this contest!

**Emmetts POV:**

I text Alice and asked her to come and 'makeup' Rosalie. When I told her of the plan, she agreed. In Alice's room, she set up all of the makeup accessories that she needed. Then we called Rosalie, for the 'Makeup'.

**Sorry that's all that i got so far! R'n'R!!! Remember I want at least, 10 reviews for chapter 4!! =]**

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	4. Fashion EMOrgency!

**Don't shoot, I can explain!!! Well I feel guilty, cuz I know that I promised that chapter 4 would come out sooner, but I had like MUCHO GRANDE homemwork! But now I think the only free time I'm gonna have is on Christmas Break. So yeah. But... this is a BIG IF...... IF I have time, I might be able to update on friday. Now ya know why I didnt update faster. One more thing, remember, I heart my faithful reviewers!! **

**Disclaimer: No I don't own anything Twilight. **

**Continuing Wednesday:**

**(A/N: to make one thing clear, Esme, Carlislie, Edward, Bella, and Jasper know about this so, they are aloud to talk for this ONE moment)**

**Rosalie's POV:**

"Oh my God !! You look so pretty, Rosalie." Alice squealed. Jasper, Bella, and Edward looked at me, nodding sincerely. Esme and Carlislie were acting as if they knew something was up.

"I value my beauty alot." I said. "What are you laughing about?" I glared at Emmet as he tried to cover up his laughter with a cough, but we're vampires and we don't cough.

"Look in the mirror." Edward said, chuckling.

"What are you talking about? Alice did my make-up perfectly! She always does." I said. But when I looked in the mirror, I started screaming.

"AAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! ALICE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO??????" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I looked like a emo freak!!!. Alice had coated on the black make-up. I looked around the room and saw everyone laughing like this was the funniest thing in the world. Emmett and Jasper were actually on the floor, they were laughing so hard.

"ALICE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!!" I screamed. Then I realized that everyone had been in on this the whole time. Emmett was so going to get it tonight....or not get it. I would make him beg like a dog before I will even consider "sleeping" with him again! I got up and stalked forward to Alcie, but she had already seen that I was planning to chase after her and the little pixie took off.

**Alice POV:**

Oh my God! Rosalie was going to be seriously pissed off, but I knew it was worth it. I dug up all the black make-up I could find and began on my victim. This was going to priceless!"Oh my God!! You look so pretty, Rosalie." I squealed, masking my horror and amusement at the fashion tragedy before me.

"I value my beauty alot." She said matter-of-factly and I rolled my eyes. "What are you laughing about?" Rosalie snapped, glaring at Emmett.

"AAAAAHHH ALICE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!?!" She screamed at the top of her lungs when she looked in the mirror.

"ALICE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" Rosalie was beyond pissed. I looked at her for a second more and then took off running. I would give anything to see that priceless look on her face again. Laughing as I ran, I realized I was in Oregon.

**I know, I know!!! This ons was really short!!! Pls review!!! U know u want to!!! lol...click the button!!**


	5. Minor Comlications

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Hey everyone!! Srry I couldn't update on Firday. U guys are amazing!!! I am loving all the reviews u guys send!!!

Disclaimer: We do NOT own Twilight!!!!!

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**Alice's POV:**

I knew Rosalie was pissed, but there was no way she was gonna catch me.

"ALICE, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" Rose screamed. Whatever, as if she could get _me._

_"_YOU MESSED UP MY FACE!! GET BACK HERE, DAMN IT!!!!!" Rose yelled.

"Honey, your face was messed up since the day you were born!!" I yelled back. Oh man, I was really gonna get it now!!!

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**Meanwhile at the Cullen's house:**

**Strong-bear and GuardianAngel have signed on.**

**Strong-bear: **Oh man! That was awesome!! The look on her face!! :D

**GuardianAngel:**Yeah it wuz, too bad it couldn't stay that way. Personally I thought it fit her. =)

**Strong-bear:** Ya it was kind of a turn on wasn't it? ;P

**GuardianAngel:**Emmett, EW!!! Keep your thoughts to yourself!!!!!

**Strong-Bear:** Srry bro. It ain't my fault you can't _mind_ your own business!!! lol...get it _mind_....

**GuardianAngel:** I hate you.....goodbye

**Stong-Bear:** Psh! Fine! Bye

**GuardianAngel and Strong-Bear have left the chatroom.**

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**Rosalie's POV:**

Alice was so gonna get it. I can't believe she said my face has always been messed up!! My face is so NOT messed up!! It's beautiful and it always has been!!! Man, I am so thirsty!!! A little deer won't hurt. As if out of fate, I spotted one. Within seconds I was crouched over the helpless animal and drained it quickly...I had other agendas on my mind. Stupid pixie!!! I looked up and noticed a pair of wide teriffied human eyes staring at me. Ah damn!!! Just then I heard Alice's frantic voice.

**"**ROSE!! Get away from there...a human saw you!!!" Alice screamed.

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**Alice's POV:**

Ha! I just dissed Rose! She was never gonna let this one go. Suddenly, a vision filled my mind. In my vision Rose was hunting while a terrified human watched her. I had to warn Rose!! I ran to where the vision took place, and I saw I was too late. The human was horrified at what he saw. And it was...Mike Newton? Oh my God!!!

**"**ROSE!!! Get away from there...a human saw you!!" I screamed frantically. She looked at me with fear in her eyes and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was. The Volturi would definiatley interfere with this one. But then she grinned that evil little smile of hers.....and I smiled bakc understanding her plan perfectly

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**Aro's POV:**

"WHAT?! THAT PUNY LITTLE HUMAN KNOWS ABOUT US!!!" I thundered.

"No Aro, they know about the Cullens'." Jane corrected me.

"DO NOT CORRECT ME!!!" I yelled. Jane flinched. How stupid could the Cullen's get? Obviously I would have to go and make things right. A_gain. _As they say, desperate times calls for desperate measures.

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**HAHAHAH!!! lol...yea the Volturi will be in the next chapter.... it's just no fun w/o them!! Wut will happen to Mike? and Wut is Rosalie's plan? You'll see in the next chappie!!! I want at least 15 reviews before I update!! I know thats asking for alot but I know you guys can do it!!! Thanx again!!!**


	6. The Body Bagdun dun dun!

**Hey everyone! Even though, I said that I wanted at least 15 reviews, I only got like 5 or something! But still for my AWeSOME readers/reviews, I'm posting chappter 6 anyways. Oh, and one more thing, when this story is finished, I want to start a Maximum Ride fanfic. But its not posted yet, so don't go searching for it. LOL. Oh and one _more_ thing: **

**DiScLaImEr:** **We Do NoT OwN TwIlIgHt!!!** Honestly, if I have to do that thing one more time, I'm gona die!!

**Well on with the story!! P.S. this one's a long one!!** :D

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**Edwards POV:**

The front door slammed open, revealing a very pleased looking Alice with Rosaile trailing in behind her carrying a....wait a minute.... was that a body bag? Oh no! I started sifting through thier thoughts immediately and I was liking what I was hearing.

_That was amazing! I can't believe I thought Bella was hotter than this sexy blonde chick. I think her name is Rosemary or something....man if only I could see that ass one more time! Hey, why is it so dark?_

_This is going to be awesome!! Bella will love this! Maybe I can go shopping later...._

_This is perfect! Since Jasper will kill me if anything happens to Alice, I guess I can just torture this sad excuse for a living soul for interrupting my meal! Wow.... I'm smart and beautiful!_

"What did you guys do? And is that really Mike Newton in the body bag?" I gasped.

"Well, when I was chasing Alice half way through Oregon I kind of got thirsty. So I decided to grab a quick deer or something. " Rosalie said, launching into their story.

"And while she was hunting I got a vision that there was a human watching Rose while she was feeding."

"But Alice was too late to warn me about it."

"And by the time I got there, Rose had already found out--"

"That this stupid, horny"--Rose dropped the body bag with a thud on the floor and kicked it, emitting a howl of pain from Mike--"boy was inturding my snack time!"

"And then Rose got this awesome idea about how we should kidnap Mike and torture him. You can go first if you want to, Edward. Oh yeah! I almost forgot! The Volturi have found out and will be paying us a visit very soon. " Alice concluded proudly.

"Wow." I felt a smile coming on. "Did you just say Mike and torture?" I asked my smile getting wider as I thought of all the things I could do to him.

"Yeah," Rose replied, grinning evilly.

"That's awesome!" Emmett shouted, coming downstairs.

"Okay, let's take him out of the body bag." Alice chimed.

Just then my super sexy wife, Bella, came in from the garage.

"Where were you? And where is Nessie?" Rosalie asked. As always the only thing she really cared about was our daughter.

"I just dropped her and Jacob off at their play date with Quil and Claire."

"Oh man! She's gonna miss out on all the fun!" Emmett grumbled.

"What are you talking about? Holy shit! What the hell is in that body bag?!"

"Calm down, Bella. I think you will enjoy this immensely." I laughed.

Roaslie opened the body bag and dragged out a very disgruntled looking Mike.

"What the f***k! Is that Mike?"

"Whoa! Bella, what happened to you?!" Mike cried, his wide eyes ogling every inch of my wife's body. _Man, she's so hot! Why does she look so different? Oh well, as long as I can look at_ that_ all day..._ I wanted rip that son of a b***h's throat out!

"Die b***h!!" And with that Bella pounced on Mike and ate him.

"No fair! Why does Bella always get eat all the people?" Emmett whined.

"That felt good!" Bella laughed.

"No, that was sexy!" Why was I suddenly feeling so horny? Of course!

"Damn you, Jasper!!"

**Lol...wow that was horrible! Anyways pls review and tell me wut u think!!! The Volturi will be in the next chapter!!!**


	7. IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE! Not a chappi

**Hay everyone, I know how much you all hate authors notes but, since schools starting, I only might post on Saturdays and Sundays. I will try to post ASAP, but with finals, you know, more studying time, less computer time. Sorry about the wait. Please bare with me. If you haven't already, read my Maximum Ride fanfiction: Is the worst over yet? If not, when will it be?**

**Sorry for the wait, I hope you understand.**

**~Frostychicken**


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